Hot mess. I'm borrowing that terminology from my sis-in-law because it seems to perfectly describe exactly how I've been feeling lately (like the last 4-1/2 months). Losing weight has been, well, a losing battle. I'm really not trying to lose a lot of weight, but I know I would feel better if I could lose anywhere between 15 and 20 pounds. The problem is the scale keeps going up instead of down. I know I've cheated and had an occasional soda here and there, and yes I've had a few pieces of Easter candy out of Ella's basket and could probably stand to change my diet a little more drastically, but I have been exercising and I have changed my diet to where I am eating better without starving myself. I like to eat 3 meals per day. I feel worse if I skip a meal or eat hardly anything at all. I've tried more smaller meals throughout the day, but struggle even more with that. As far as exercising goes, the only thing I enjoy doing is walking, which really worked well for me last time I wanted to lose weight, the body ball and my free weights. I use the elliptical we have, but that is rather boring to be honest, and we only spent $50 on it, so you really do get what you pay for. I still try to use it when I can't get around to doing something other form of exercise, but would prefer not to.
I had an appointment for a small run-in with a wine bottle to the eye and for my lateral epicondylitis last week. During that appointment the doctor asked how my thyroid was doing. I explained to him how my back and face have been breaking out really bad and how my menses are really off schedule. I told him I thought it was hormones and he seemed to agree that it was hormones and not my thyroid levels. But now it has me wondering. The thyroid does control certain hormones and with knowing that, it had me wondering how my thyroid was really doing; so I hopped onto Mayo Clinic to read up on hypothyroidism once again. I filled out a profiler to evaluate the symptoms I am experiencing and how it may be related to my thyroid problems. After doing this, it tells me that it sounds like my dosage is too low. So now I feel like I should have maybe discussed more of the symptoms with my doctor to see if I needed to have my blood tested again. I do have an appointment with my other doctor next week and may bring it up to him.
I just can't help but feeling blah, which in turn makes me grouchy, which in turn makes me feel guilty when I get short with my husband and my daughter. I'm really just tired of having to take the thyroid medication on top of 3 others I have to take, which can get complicated because you can only take them within a certain time frame of each other or they don't work properly. I'm always fatigued/tired, anxious, can't get to sleep no matter how tired I am, keep gaining weight instead of losing, no longer have a regular cycle, have a hard time remembering things unless I write them down, always cold, have joint pains and aches and can't concentrate. I'm back to square one prior to my diagnosis. I'm a hot mess.
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